


Life with Masks

by imaginarydaydreams



Series: Saeyoung Week 2018 [3]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-13 20:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15372381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarydaydreams/pseuds/imaginarydaydreams
Summary: Throughout his life, Saeyoung has worn too many disguises to the point he can't keep it up anymore. But now...now he's back to being Saeyoung and he wouldn't dare go back.





	Life with Masks

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Saeyoung Week 2018, Day 3 - Identity.

His first life as Saeyoung was everything less than ideal.

It was one filled with fear. A constant, debilitating fear that, if he concentrated hard enough, he could still smell the traces of alcohol within the depths of his memory. Could still see the blooming purples of phantom bruises that seared their pain into the back of his mind. Could still feel the cold tears that stained his hoodie as he comforted his younger twin and tried to desperately reassure him that everything would be okay.

Even when he knew more than anything that that was but a cruel lie.

He was convinced that this was all that awaited him. That his entire existence was just destined to fail and that he would be left with only the shambles of a life he never even got the chance to salvage.

That is, until one day, a young man by the name of V offered him an opportunity that was just too enticing to pass up.

With this, he was able to leave behind the traces of his old life. He entrusted his brother into the care of V and Rika and set out to become a secret agent. He stripped away the name ‘Saeyoung’ and became Luciel.

Luciel, who devoted his existence towards a selfish dream where he and Saeran could live the happily ever after that they were denied for most of their lives. Luciel, who only lived for V and for his brother. Luciel…whose name served as a reminder for him not to stray too close to the darkness, lest he succumb to the shadows that shrouded him for so long.

With this vow, he tucked his secrets away and wore this new mask with hope.

Not even a few months later was he given a new mask and a new life. This one was definitely off-kilter with what he was used to—in fact, it was the complete opposite of the ever-so pessimistic Saeyoung or even the somewhat hopeful Luciel. This mask was silly, always cracked jokes, gave off the appearance of a prankster who never took anything seriously.

Yet, hidden behind those smiles and cheers, were the observant eyes of a cold-hearted agent who’s seen too much beyond his years. Whose wise-cracks and over-the-top attitude was only to keep himself sane in a job that was slowly but surely stripping him of his humanity.

They called this mask ‘707′ or just ‘Seven’ and, no matter how many times it broke; no matter how many cracks it sported, he always forced it back on and continued about his daily life as if everything was perfectly okay.

As if he wasn’t slowly crumbling inside from the weight of his sins.

He was resigned to this fate. He already accepted that the world wasn’t for him and that, everywhere he went, he was bound to adorn a new mask and pretend that his previous ones no longer existed. But deep down inside, he knew that this process was slowly killing him; it was only a matter of time until he just couldn’t take it anymore. There was no telling what would happen to him then.

In the back of his mind, he yearned to return to his life as Saeyoung.

A life without these stupid masks.

Yet the more logical side of him told him that it was far too impossible now.

But now, resting beside her and feeling her warm presence; relishing in her bright eyes and dazzling smile; basking in the way that she called his name—his real name—he realized that maybe he was wrong about some things.

For one, it probably wasn’t good for his heart if he woke up to this adorableness every day.

And two…

Even though his life as Saeyoung started out as a series of only hardships, perhaps there was some underlying meaning to it. Sure, it wasn’t the most happiest times in his life—in fact, quite a lot of his thoughts tended to drift towards the pain from long ago. But it was the only time in his life that he truly felt alive and himself.

In the past, he was Saeyoung, a cynical boy whose only wish was to escape to faraway places with his beloved twin.

In between this point and the present, he had donned various masks, living contrasting lives as a means to distance himself from the hell that plagued his waking hours.

From his devoted life as Luciel to his overly cheeky facade as 707, he never found a mask that fit quite right. They would always eventually break away and he would be forced to start all over again. A cycle that was beginning to take its toll.

Yet now…

Now, he was back to being Saeyoung. But rather than that cynical boy who only fooled himself into thinking that everything will be okay, he was now a man who, after all these years, had a future to look forward to. A future spent next to the light of his world, the absolute love of his life.

As he let the warmth of her embrace fill his heart and sink into his soul, he felt the other masks that he hid behind break and crumble away, revealing the personality that he tried so hard to hide.

And, for once in his many lives, he felt satisfied.


End file.
